Walking towards a car parked along the sidewalk in front of my house, I noticed something interesting. In approaching the car, I saw an intriguing reflection.
Simply moving several steps in a different direction, the reflection was no longer there. The magic had disappeared-- all I could see was the inside of the car.
Suddenly, it occurred to me that this phenomenon of the reflections appearing and disappearing, with the slightest change of angle and lighting, is much like the creative process itself. Thoughts rapidly fired in my brain as I became inspired to write this blog entry about mindfulness, for the first time in almost three months...
Three months without blogging about mindfulness...The first month made sense. It was June-- the last month of a crazy, hectic-busy, stressful school year. I could understand my lack of time, lack of motivation, lack of inspiration. I looked forward to taking pictures and blogging during the summer.
But then July came and went. No new blog entries, no nature photography. I had a list, which seemed like excuses rather than valid reasons of why. I was busy taking 10 credits worth of classes-- both in person and online, took several trips, participated in four different summer work projects at school, and attended a technology conference. There were also several stressors that occupied much of my brain space as well. Still, I thought that during the school year I was often very busy and very stressed and blogging about mindfulness was a great way to relax. So why wasn't that happening now?
Next, I attributed my lack of blogging to not having the right container. During the school year, at times I was inspired to blog about teaching and learning, but realized that what I wanted to blog about did not fit into the theme of this blog. So I decided to create a new blog, one more specifically targeted about teaching. I thought, "Now I'll be inspired to write." Now, three weeks since I created my new blog and I still haven't posted my first entry. This has been a little bit frustrating and disappointing for me-- eager to start up my blog and create a readership.
It's not that I haven't been prolific this summer-- actually quite the opposite. In fact, I've written significant portions of three different blog entries for my new blog-- I just haven't finished any of them. I've been somewhat hard on myself about not being able to complete any of these entries. But then something clicked in my head when I saw the sunlight creating reflections in the car windows, which would suddenly disappear when I walked a few steps, changing my angle, or when the sun ducked behind the clouds.
Just like reflections, creativity can not be forced. I can put myself in certain situations or to go some of my favorite places like Spy Pond, but I'm not going to feel inspired every single time. Creativity is not just about will power, about wanting to be creative. It's also about unexpectedness, about intangible feelings, about something that sparks the mind to think in a different way than it has before. Like reflections, creativity can be fleeting. There can be a glimpse of a creative idea that starts me off on a project but then may duck away for a time, like the sun behind the clouds, causing the reflection, or the spark to disappear.
When I thought about my three unfinished blog entries in this way, it occurred to me that some of my best writing is created when I am mindful and respectful of my creative process. Sure, there have been occasions when the creative bug bites me and I am flooded with inspiration, causing me to to write a poem or a short essay in a burst of energy. However, more often, I write in stages, in drafts, with time spent apart from my writing so that I can come back to it with fresh eyes.
It can help to have time in between writing the ending of a piece of writing and the main part--this can be days, weeks, sometimes even months. Time allows me to come up with ideas when I don't even realize that I am doing it, helping me to formulate my thoughts. Giving ideas time to percolate in my head can help me overcome writer's block. Maybe this is what is happening with all of my unfinished blog entries.
Being mindful of my own creative process, I will stop being so hard on myself for not finishing my blog entries. And trust that with time, the creative bug will come back, allowing me to complete them. And most of the time, when the creative bug comes back, the piece ends in a way that I never would have originally anticipated it would. Just like I never predicted the neat warps and contours that would be created in this reflection simply by walking a few steps over...
